do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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