I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
