Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
