I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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