Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
