...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
