Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
