If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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