I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
