guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So many bounce houses so little time
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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