I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
