well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
