New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize