i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
