accomplished twins. life is a go
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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