I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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