its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
