ugly people sure do ruin things
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Alive.
So much puke
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
