Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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