if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
