this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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