i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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