Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
