I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
one might say we're banned from that church
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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