I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
