I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize