She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
