He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There r osticjed everywhere
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
