You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
