So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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