i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
