remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
