you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
