She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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