I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
