your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize