The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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