This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
