Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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