Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
