and she was petting her beer can
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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