roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
