you have to choose: penises or morals?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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