wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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