Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
