idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
