i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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