And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
