you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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