I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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