hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
