I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
