I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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