i just wanna soil my oats bro
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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