We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
