oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
