Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
