He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
