And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I touched a dick in church today
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
