grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Rumble strips road head = magical
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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