Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
