if you like me you must not know who I am
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
