If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
