Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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