u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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