Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
