sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
